Hedonists unite!

hedonist |ˈhēdnist|nouna person who believes that the pursuit of pleasure is the most important thing in life; a pleasure-seeker: she was living the life of a committed hedonist.
In which I use way too many parentheses:I am a hedonist.I love food, art, music, theatre, movies, literature and so much more (ah, the sedentary and the caloric). I love European chocolate (Kinder Bueno rocks my world) but way too often I settle for month old Hersheys. Sometimes I get so desperate to indulge that I get crazy and start grabbing fishy crackers, and fruit snack while watching Wild Kratts (No offense Kratt bros., you are some of my favorites, second only to Word Girl ... but I digress) when what I really want is a crusty loaf of good bread, Basil infused olive oil and Mozart.
In which I try reasoning with myself:But the really good stuff is expensive ..... So eat it less often. Your wallet and your waist both win.But I want something now ..... What are you, two? Child #3 has more will power. If you need something now, find something fabulous that does not require settling.But I have no time ..... Wait a sec, if you have time for fishy crackers and Wild Kratts, you have time for the good stuff.But I try to be good, to wait, to only eat what I really want. I do that for an agonizing three days in a row and at the end I still don't look like Julianne Hough ..... Ya think? P.S., if you were really indulging and taking care of yourself, it would not be agonizing. This is about life style, not a temporary fix.
In which I make a list:As I mentioned in a previous post, my cravings often have less to do with food and more to do with taking time to take care of myself. So what can I use to take care of my need to indulge, or to anhialate my cravings with few or no calories. Here are a few that have been successful for me recently:
frozen rasberriesa Better Homes and Garden's "Renovation Style" magazine from the check stand (Honestly, have you ever actually purchased one of those? I hadn't and it was so fun.)a new lipsticka Red Box moviea squeaky clean romance novel or piece of chick-lita mug of herbal tea (a good kind)a great new shirt or jacket from Savers or DI (I'm a hedonist, not a millionaire)no holds barred yard saling good, organic preserves on toastknowing that you are saving up for something really good (a chocolate croissant, a family excursion to Yogo Togo, a date to See's chocolates, etc.)an hour by myself at the library or Barnes and Noblean hour by myself on the internetplay ticketsgood fruit
I would love to hear about what works for you.Okay, time to get out of my kids white chocolate popcorn. Oh boy Halloween is going to be hard.
LBB: Yesterday as I browsed the discount bakery rack at Smith's I found myself doing battle with one dozen cake doughnuts. They made it into my hand twice, but did not make it into my cart.

Things I know

Right now a gym membership and a professional weight loss program are not in the budget. I used to use that as an excuse. Then, I realized that I didn't really need either of those.

Things I know that I do not want to pay someone $40 a month to tell me:

Two cookies have fewer calories than seven.

Hydrating is important. (# of pounds /2= the number of oz. you should drink daily.)

To be healthy and look great I need to eat less and move more.

I can eat as many fruits and vegetables as I want.

Whole foods are better than processed ones.

Chemicals are bad for me. Toxins get stored in fat.

Stress makes me hold onto weight.

Chew slow and you will feel full faster.

Sugar should be used for celebrations. It makes a lousy lifestyle. Holidays, weddings and birthdays, are great reasons to indulge. Finishing my dinner is not quite as good a reason.

For more free tips, info and motivation I consistently turn to "French Women Don't Get Fat." (I know that is supposed to be underlined, but I don't know how to do that yet. Cntrl "u" doesn't do it.) It is a healthy, witty take on getting slim and in this bloggers humble opinion, it is the best weight loss book ever written.

I am also getting lots of motivation and ideas from friends. All this help is free! I can do free.

LBB

My LBB for the day-

(LBB stands for little basil blossom. LBBs are small victories. See the post called Little Basil Blossoms for more details.)

I just got on the scale and I am down a total of five pounds. Slow progress? Snail like, if you ask me, but it has been a while since I have seen those particular numbers and that makes me HAPPY!

Click

I had something "click" today.

It was one of those things that I had heard many times. I knew it was true. It just never made the transition from cerebrum to life application ... till today.

I have had one of those days; one of those shut your door, scream into a pillow and then beat your bed with a towel that you grab from a mountain of unfolded laundry - days. These are the days when cravings blindside me and comfort foods jump into my hand before I know what I'm doing. After dropping child #1 off at school I sat at a stoplight wondering what I was craving. I knew I wanted something, but nothing I thought of sounded good. And then I realized that the things I needed were not food. Yes, I had needs, but not needs that eating would solve. I required a whole new list of cravings like: conversation, help, a listening ear, patience, a break, encouragement, a vent session etc.

I am feeling quite evolved. It's sad that I haven't experienced this truth before. Chocolate and carbs were my go-to band aid for everything. To be totally honest, I did feel better after eating them. But I it was probably the fact that I took a break to eat them - that I took time for me and what I wanted. Maybe my blood-sugar did need a boost, but an apple and a chapter of a good could do the same thing. I am excited to think up new and meaningful indulgences. Lets face it, we all need to indulge and this has opened a whole new world of healthy possibilities.

S.O.S.

There are seven layer cookies in my fridge right now. One of those layers is butter, if that tells you anything. Butter, then graham cracker crumbs then coconut, butterscotch chips, chocolate chips, sweetened-condensed milk and finally chopped pecans all baked to perfection.

I called Shyla. I told her I didn't really need them right now, but that they were calling to me and they were becoming extraordinarily persuasive. Shyla cut right through that siren song with a "Stop! You don't want those. You want to be sexy!" Everyone needs that kind of a friend. If you want to succeed through those intense caloric cravings, I think a friend who can talk you out of the fridge is a must.

Fast forward to the night time. We pulled the cookies out as a part of a family night. I had one and shared the rest. We ate those cookies the way cookies are meant to be eaten - with laughter and finger licking, not sneakily eaten in a corner where the kids won't find me. They are now all gone (another perk) and I can rest in peace.

For me, this whole "diet" thing is not about denial as much as it is about control. I want to have the strength to eat only as much as I really want and only when I really want it.

Bandwagon

Last night I fell off the bandwagon. I felt guilt, depression, disappointment, and then I pulled myself up short. Just whose bandwagon was I on? I think I had gotten on some hardcore nutritionist's bandwagon by mistake. I like that bandwagon. I would like to find a permanent seat on that bandwagon someday. But I that is the Ferrari of bandwagons and I am on an '88 Chevy Nova wagon. I have skills to gain and strength to develop. I need a wagon that will make frequent stops to allow me to jump back on and I need to feel great about getting back on or I may give up - and that is not an option. Besides, I think unfounded guilt and angst are worse for you than brownies. So, let me take a moment to define my wagon:

This is the bunny-hill of wagons, for people just getting started.

Every time you fall off you are welcomed back on.

My wagon is open to all positive and supportive people.

Nay-Sayers can wait for the Ferrari.

On my wagon the expectations are high, the support system is fantastic and failure is not an option, because you only fail when you abandon the wagon.

Every time you get back on you are stronger.

Getting back on the wagon brings joy, not guilt.

The pace of my wagon may be slow, but it is consistent and it is always moving forward.

Okay, I am feeling better. I know where I am going, how I want to get there, who I want on my wagon and I have enough bandwagon imagery to last me a long, long time.

Is anyone taking the same ride?

Basil Blossoms

Little Basil Blossoms is a funny name for a blog about weight loss. To be honest, it is not the first name we tried. We crafted, debated and tried a dozen or more names, all of which were taken. Then one evening as I was making dinner, I went out to pick some basil. My basil was in bloom and I was enchanted by the simple beauty of those tiny white blossoms. I called Shyla. Shyla checked on blog spot, and wonder of wonders, the name was available.

I now realize that, despite it's random beginnings our name may be quite apt. Unless you get picked to be a contestant on a reality weight loss show, the journey to thin will probably be about the small, simple, consistent changes in your life. At least that's how it is for me. And those small moments of victory, of self control and of incremental progress are beautiful. They may seem like tiny basil blossoms in a garden where squash blossoms and roses and six foot tall tomatoes vie for attention, but they have a beauty all their own. They are important. And some days they make all the difference.

~Bethany

p.s. I just found out that I have lost three pounds. And I had a personal victory. I resisted the mini red-velvet cupcakes at Relief Society last night. I don't really like red velvet, but I love cake. Just three weeks ago not really liking it or wanting it would not have kept me from eating it. Those are two of my "basil blossoms" for the week.

Hallelujah!

Glory be, I have seen the light!

Conversion is the word for what I am feeling. I finally feel converted to the idea of a lifestyle change. I believe that, to a large extent, my body is a reflection of my life. Right now it is to an extra large extent; that or my life is extra large. TMI, I know. Only the second post and already I am getting personal. Oh well.

In the past years I have fought chronic fatigue. There was no energy for a lifestyle revolution. I am now in a place where chasing this dream is an option, but still, for months - many, many months- I have shilly-shallied with the issue, always thinking about it but never really committing.

The first feelings of actual inner determination (the real kind, not the kind that wears off by Friday) came after Shyla suggested that we write three lists. In one we list our self deceptions, in one we list why we are doing this and in the last we list why we aren't doing it, even though we say we want to. See, I told you she was the wise one.

So, to continue with the trend of sharing too much information, here are my lists.

Why do I want to loose weight?

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I want to feel great and have confidence that I look great.

I want to be sexy for my husband.

I want to be young and mobile for my kids.

I want health and energy.

I want life to run around inside me like a squirrel (If you haven't seen "You Can't Take it With You" go and rent it or put it in your queue right now. It may be the best Frank Capra movie ever and it is one of my all time favorites. Plus it will enable you to understand that last statement.)

Sometimes my blood flows like Elmer's glue. I want it to run like Niagara.

No more "Mom" gut.

So why don't I do it? (this is the scary honesty part)

I am afraid of missing out on something delicious.

I am a sugar addict.

Junk food is a way of "taking care" of myself, of doing something just for me; especially when time is so limited that I don't see another way of meeting that need.

Instant gratification in a stage of life where so much must be postponed.

I feel needy. Like I don't have enough and I need to consume all I can when I can get it. It's like being a kid on Halloween and knowing your dad is a dentist.

My self deceptions:

I can keep my same habits and magically loose weight.

I have infinite time to work with.

I am okay with the way I look.

My weight/health isn't that big of a problem

I sound delusional. Somehow, I don't think I am the only one living these delusions though. If I am, that that makes this one heck of an embarassing post. Just kidding. I live for broccoli. I never have obsessive cravings. The secret stash of chocolate I have is really food storage. I have a totally healthy relationship with food and have no problem stopping after one cookie.

Well doctor, our hour is up. I feel much better now, thank you.

Hello!

Welcome friends.

My name is Bethany. This blog is the brainchild of a summer's chat with my dear friend Shyla. While our children, a total of eight kids under the age of 9, ran pel mel through house and yard, we talked about our desires to be slimmer, fitter and healthier. Shyla (the wise one in this duo) pointed out that this is about much more than inches and calories. This is about the women we want to become, not just the waist size we want to achieve.

This is just as much about wisdom, confidence and power as it is about weight, calories and pounds. If we can gain the first, we believe the second will follow.

And it is going to take support - lots and lots of support - and ideas and accountability and ... well, hence the blog. We are excited that you are comming on this adventure with us.

Bethany