Hiatus

Hello Friends,

I have been gone for a while, welcoming child #4 into the world etc. I am taking a temporary hiatus from this blog while doing daily entries about becoming fit and fabulous on a blog called twosassylasses which I am doing with my sister-in-law. I wasn't sure this was the right venue for that, so I am taking a temporary hiatus. Good Luck all!

~Bethany

And a Child Shall Lead Them

I have a friend whose five year old son is completely off sugar.  By sugar I mean cookies, candy, popsicles, cake etc.  The week before Easter, he had eaten a big slice of cake and gotten a tummy ache.  He asked his mom why that was and she explained that sometimes sugar can make us sick.  He declared that he never wanted to feel like that again and he never wanted to eat sugar again.  It has been over a month and that kid is treat free.  Is he a paragon of an all-natural, aboriginal diet?  No, but he listened to his body and is choosing what feels good for him.


I, who have had more problems from food than a tummy-ache and am still choosing what tastes good over what feels good, could stand to learn a few lessons from this kid.


If I want to feel a certain way, I need to eat certain things.  I cannot find health in sugary foods.  I cannot find happiness in over eating.  I will not find the woman I want to be at the bottom of an ice-cream carton.  So much to learn. . . .

Newsworthy

There is a great article and video clip on hidden sugars in food on ksl.com.  The link is on the home page. There is a picture of packaged applesauce and a doughnut with the caption "How hidden sugars are hijacking your health."

Eye opening.

My sugar-free treats so far this morning are sleeping in late while snuggling my children and filling my house with Mozart while I get a few things done.

Cupcakes

I want to enjoy cupcakes not look like a cupcake.

Chats

I love doing this with a friend.  Today we commiserated on the caloric wreckage of the week.  I fell prey to the siren song of granola bars and cheese quesadillas.  The point system is keeping us honest, but honestly we were both feeling a little broken.  What happened to the amazing women of will-power we were becomming?  Mine got hit with pregnancy hormones ... or at least that's what I'm going with.  


Shyla and I are working toward goals at the end of every week.  This week we are going to make cute clip-boards that we can hang in the bathroom and write inspirational and random thoughts on to keep ourselves focused.  Also, this week's point winner gets taken out for a Starbuck's steamer.


Oh and right now the kids and I are having stove-popped popcorn and apples.  Much better than the granola bar/M&M trail mix combo I've been reaching for about this time.  So ... there's hope.

Extremes

I must love to ride that pendulum.  My past two days have swung higher than high and lower than low, but I must say, keeping track of points has been most illuminating.  Afternoons submarine me.  For the past two days I have made 0 point breakfasts, 0 point dinners and have racked up 11 points in afternoon snacks.  I am determined to work on the crazy mid-day binging.  Here are my great meals.

Breakfast:
-Old Fashioned oats topped with fresh strawberries
-Whole grain bread with a kefir shake (kefir, spinach, pineapple cores, flax, chia, banana, orange)

Dinner:
-Yam fries, seasoned brown rice, kidney beans, pineapple
-Baked potatoes, chili, cottage cheese, sliced green onions, salad  (oops, I guess I did earn one point on that dinner - still pretty good.)

New Beginnings

At the center of your being you have the answer; 

you know who you are 

and you know what you want.

~Lao Tzu

This post represents a new beginning for this blog.  Lately I have been caught up in the worry of what "should" I be writing about.  I worry that no-one wants to hear about me falling off the band-wagon and struggling to figure things out again.  Then I thought - wait a sec, this is not Chicken Soup for the Dieter's Soul where everything gets resolved in 2.5 pages.  This is my life.  This is a tool to help me and I have lost sight of that.  Plus there are probably people out there reading this (if anyone is reading this) who are going through the exact same thing.


So, Shyla and I started a new point program which we are really excited about (details in the next paragraph) and as part of it, we are going to be posting short, daily (0r almost daily) thoughts on our road to our healthier, more energized more glorious selves.  Fair warning, it may be a bumpy ride.  And I hereby claim it as my privilege to try on as many theories and mind-sets as it takes to make one stick.  I also reserve the right to fail abismally and try again as often as I need to.


So, here are the rules of the point system.  It's like golf - you don't want points.  This is loosely based on Weight Watchers, only there is no calorie counting (that drives me batty) and this is more about health than calories.  I never could support a program that rewards you for eating Wonder bread over whole wheat bread.  So here it is:


All fruits and vegetables are free.  Even if you put some butter and salt on top.  Salad dressing is at your discretion, but basically, all fruits and veggies are no-point foods.


All whole grains are basically free.  This means brown rice, whole oats (not quick oats), whole wheat, quinoah, chia, etc.  Shyla and I have decided that we can have one serving (serving size being determined by us) per meal or snack.  That way, a sandwich on w.w. bread doesn't give us any points, but finishing off all of our children's sandwiches would give us points.  One bowl of oatmeal would not count, but eating an extra half bowl just so we don't have leftovers would count.


White/Refined grains are a point per serving.


You get three free bites of anything.  If you are at a wedding and eat three bites of cake, then there are no points.  This is to encourage portion control while allowing us to experience anything we want to.  Now this does not mean that at a chocolate fountain you get three bites of every dish on the smorgasbord.  These are guidelines for people with a modicum of self control or at least a healthy dose of honesty.  If you need a pharasaical point police, this may not be for you.


Meat.  We're steering clear of this one.  Do what feels right for you and your family.  I once knew a cowboy whose grandfather figured that a little steak three times a day was moderation because he was exercising the will to eat something more than just steak.  He lived to a very healthy 85 by the way.  My family eats red meat about once or twice a month and chicken about once a week and fish any time I can find a good sale.  You know when you've eaten to excess, so give points accordingly.


Dairy.  Basically one serving per meal is free.  I do a lot of homemade kefir shakes.  Those are free for me.  I don't like all the sugars and artificial stuff in commercial yogurt, so a cup of Yoplait would be a point for me.  Any milk on my morning oatmeal is free, but a cup of low fat chocolate milk would be a point.  So basically, figure out what feels right for you.


One point per serving of treats.


Homemade Goodies.  We believe there is a big difference in home-made treats and in store-bought treats.  Not only in food quality, cleanliness and nutritional value, but also in the family memories and experiences making treats can provide.  That is why, once a week, we can have three servings of a home-made treat, point free.  That means that if you make cookies with your kids on Sunday, you can have one spoon of cookie dough, one cookie warm out of the oven and one on Monday night for Family Home Evening.


Bottom Line:  Listen to your body and tally up points accordingly.


Erasing Points:  20 minutes of exercise erases one point.  Five posts on the blog (or comments on the blog or entries in a health journal etc.) erases a point.


Good Luck!

One Dish Wonder

Tonight we had another successful one dish dinner.

Taco Salad:
Chopped Lettuce
Rice and Beans
Tomatoes
Avocado
Fritos (hey, they only have three ingredients and none of them sound like substances Hazmat is required to handle.)
And Ranch dressing with some taco seasoning mixed in.

Bonus, you can make this as high or low calorie as you want.

We had chilled homemade (sugar-free) applesauce for dessert.  Good Times.

Channeling Churchill

Today started strong and fell apart in the middle.


All too often, my afternoon slumps extend till bed-time.  Not today.  Dr. Seuss tells us, "un-slumping yourself is not easily done" (Oh, The Places You'll Go) and this is true.  Fortunately I have fortitude imbued quotes like Churchill's "Never, never, never give up," and "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts,"  floating around in my head.


With those great thoughts ringing between my ears, I squared my shoulders and launched into 45 minutes of solid productivity.  Those 45 minutes, which at the time felt like a last-ditch effort, revitalized the night. I guess John Woden got it right "It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it."

Reminders

Loosing focus on this goal of becoming a stronger, healthier person is almost second nature. But life gives me wonderful nudges and reminders of what it is I really want. One of these came to me in the form of a song by Chris Rice called "Here Come Those Eyes." I want to feel like the girl in that song.

My husband is a pro and making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Nonetheless, I would love to be able to raise his heart rate even more than I do now. Granted, right now I have the silhouette of a duck and till this new little one arrives there is not a whole heap that I can do about that. Still, it is so good to be reminded of what I really want.

Quotes to Motivate

"The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it."

Mal Pancoast

"If we defend our habits, we have no intentions of quitting them."

"It's not about how good you are, but about how bad you want it."

"Discipline is remembering what you want."

No idea who wrote those last ones, but they pack a wallop.

The Source of Wisdom

The Chinese say that the source of wisdom is to call things by their proper names. The Bible says "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." For me, the source of much wisdom is doing the same stupid thing over and over till the pain just isn't worth it anymore. Tell me I am not alone in this.

For example: only when pregnant does Parmesan-garlic chicken and mint ice-cream sound like a good combination. It is not a good combination, as I can now declare with the conviction of first-hand experience. Well, it was a good idea for about a nano-second, but now I heartily regret it. I hate indulgence regrets. They totally ruin the hedonistic afterglow of true indulgence. And I only have regrets when I act on impulse without listening to what I really want or to how much I really want.

This particular 2x4 is nearly paper thin. I need to gain a little wisdom before I have to get a new 2x4. And would someone please tell my crazy hormones that onion rings and cherry pie aren't a good idea either?

Viva la Cucumber

It had been a very big day. My family needed a special dinner. Child #1 and I hit the grocery store. Into the cart went deli-turkey sandwiches, milk and apples. Then we passed a chip display. "Mom," gushed child #1, "those are Cheetos. I adore Cheetos." I made some noncommittal noise and pushed past - all the while thinking that chips really do go famously with turkey subs. Fortunately, my commitment to making a few healthy substitutions every day won out. Hello produce section.

That night our meal was rounded out with sliced cucumbers (which we love with salt and pepper or dipped in hummus.) I felt a momentary longing for some potato-esque substance fried in oil and salted within an inch of a heart-attack - but it felt empowering to consciously choose a crunchy, green veg. over a chip, especially since there had been some indulging going on that morning. Whatever else may have happened that day, we ended strong. Cucumber power!

Priorities

"When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities."

~Ezra Taft Benson,

Conference, April 1988

One Dish Dinners

Once upon a time we had some friends and their kids stop by one night just as we were finishing dinner. I had made brown rice, beans and seasoned, baked sweet potatoes. This very dear, meat and potatoes couple, looked at our dinner, exchanged a few looks and asked a few carefully worded questions - their impression clearly being "This is what our friends are eating for dinner? This is it?! There is no ground beef or condensed soup here! Have they fallen below the poverty line?" I looked at the meal and saw a complete protein, lots of vitamin A, and super fiber. I tell this story, because I am once again embracing the one or two dish dinner. Who says you need three to five separate dishes to make a dinner? Well, lots of people, but not me.

So here is one of my favorite dinners. I made it last night and it was the perfect counterpoint to the blue-gray drizzle outside. We had brown rice topped with three kinds of peppers, chicken and onions in a curry sauce. I love curry. It is so fast and flavorful and versatile. We also like to put potatoes, peas, carrots, etc. in our curry. You can add just about any veggie and it turns out great every time. Even when you do it wrong (I added too much water last night) it turns out marvelously. And you get veggies, protein and a great carb in one dish. Add a little fresh fruit for dessert and voila! So here's to fabulous, simple, one dish dinners.

(Okay, I guess you could say that rice plus curry equals two dishes. As you see, I still cling to the rudiments of my math education. But when served together they look like one to me. And simple is so very very good.)

Own It

Yesterday I deliciously devoured three Cadbury eggs while reading a Bill Bryson book and for perhaps the first time, I feel completely fine about owning the experience. Every calorie, every sticky finger every bit of happiness is mine all mine. It was an indulgence that I chose, not that my addiction chose for me and that makes it easier to own. Owning the experience (as opposed to burying it) makes me feel more satisfied than the chocolate could have alone. Food can create amazing experiences. For me, hiding behind a door scarfing M&Ms before the kids see me does not qualify as an experience worth having. A leisurely moment with a favorite candy that I haven't indulged in for the last two years while reading some pithy prose - that is an experience worth having.

I am on a crusade to own more of my life. I want to own my choices, own the consequences, own the life they give me. This seems so rudimentary. When did I get cut off from these parts of my life? On a brief psychological note (no time for deep analysis), I am learning that owning my life means accepting me for me - flaws and all. This is tough. Accepting other people is much easier. But, as any retail clerk will tell you, if you want to change something, you need to own it first.

Dessert

Golden, juicy, vibrant delicious pineapple for dessert tonight. Everyone loved it.

Mastery

How boring would it be, if this journey to health revolved solely around calories and exercise?

My friend Shyla and I have been talking quite a bit about mastery lately. For both of us, life has pulled our focus away from slim for a while. That has made me feel like I haven't had much to write about, hence my lack of posts. But I have come to realize that mastery in any area is mastery. Strength of will is strength of will.

For the last six weeks I have been focusing on improving the quality and quantity of my scripture study and I have been doing a major home clean-out. (Somehow, admitting that I only have enough focus for two areas at a time feels weak. I know it is the best that I can do, but still, admitting to limitations in public is hard. I feel I should be able to do it all. How dumb is that?) But I am learning that mastery over my time will help me have mastery over my appetite. The will to prioritize and make tough choices about my closets will help me prioritize and make tough choices about my menus. An increase in spiritual strength will help me make the choices that lead to physical strength.

Health is a whole person way of being. Plus, Feng Shui gurus say that de-cluttering your living space is a great way to begin weight loss. So if you, like me, have taken a mental hiatus from exercise and calories, bravo! Here's to new beginnings.

Recess

Have you ever witnessed children running out to a playground? They can't wait to get outside. They climb. They jump. They run. They skip and chase and hang on monkey bars.

I love this way of looking at moving and exercise. It is fun. It is a change of pace. It is refreshing. And (again) it is FUN.

Now this is not how I feel when looking at a "work-out" DVD. This is not how I feel about crunches and curls. But maybe that is an indicator that not only my mind-set, but my routine needs to change. If exercise is drudgery, then my consistency is patchy and my efforts half-hearted. When I am doing something fun like hiking, dancing or walking I want to do more and more and more. I look forward to it. I make special arrangements to make sure it happens.

I want to have a daily "mom recess." To me, that sounds like a treat.

If any of you have some ideas that work for you, I would so appreciate hearing them.

Ready!

Ready. Set. Go.

Ready. Aim. Fire.

The first step is always to get ready. I am noticing that my personal getting ready takes a lot of time and a frustrating amount of getting on and off the proverbial bandwagon. With all that on and off, my proverbial thighs are amazingly toned.

An example of being ready: I learned about kiefer (it's like a super yogurt, with amazing amounts of pro-biotics) nearly three years ago. It sounded like something I would really benefit from. It also sounded like a major lifestyle adjustment. It took me two years to be in a place in my life where I could take on a forever type of change. The moment I did, I and one of my children began seeing huge health improvements. Could I have benefited earlier? Of course. I just wasn't ready yet. But I worked to get myself ready, and I have been going strong on making my own kiefer for nearly a year now.

Four or five years ago, my hubby and I decided to transition away from cold cereal in the mornings because it was healthier and cheaper. We make several yummy varieties of old-fashioned oatmeal, cream of wheat, rice and cinnamon, fruit and spinach shakes and toast and eggs. Shortly after we made the transition (a transition which has stuck, by the way) we encountered the inevitable nay-sayers. "What, you use white rice?" one lady exclaimed. "Don't you know that goes straight to sugar?" Another helpful friend informed us that all of our new choices were terrible for us and we should be eating brown rice and turkey and steamed vegetables for breakfast. Honestly? I have hair to do and car-pools to drive and morning devotional to get ready. I don't have time to start breakfast an hour before we eat. I think their information is great and I would love to be able to do something like it, but I am not ready yet. And being in the tender transition phase the comments made me feel depressed and resentful. Where were these "helpers" when we were pouring quick, delicious, super-refined, chemical ridden, crunchy yumminess into our bowls every morning? But I digress.

The point is, getting ready for serious, permanent change takes time. You have to be in a place where you can withstand the negative voices in and out of your own head and move forward with courage. Getting ready is NOT passive. It requires physical, mental and emotional progress and serious toning of those proverbial thighs.

If any of you are finding yourself in this "getting ready" phase, know that you ARE making progress. The progress may not have permanently altered your grocery list or your waist line, but it is a necessary part of permanent change . . . at least it is for me.

Getting to Zero

A few weeks ago I heard a lecture by a Vietnam Vet. It was inspiring and deeply moving. Almost as a afterthought he shared a theory that he called "getting to zero."

On the chalkboard he wrote a numeric continuum that looked like this:

-10 -9 -8 -7 -6 -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

He explained that for him, the positive numbers represent a self-aggrandizing mind set and the negative numbers represent a self-disparaging mind set. We don't learn so well when we are on either end, but when we are at zero, we are open and we are teachable.

This applies perfectly to the process of "healthifying" and "slim-ifying" a life. It is so easy for me to either wallow or be prideful. I like the concept of getting to zero and letting the master teacher teach me and change me.

Walk Tall

I have noticed that the way I present myself affects my attitude and the choices I make. I teach dance, and am always after my older students to utilize their muscles and dance from a position of strength. Well, last week I took my own advice.

Usually, as I dash in and out of buildings, running my children to their various lessons I hunch down into my slightly too small coat, all too aware that my morning efforts at hair and makeup have eroded away and my face is compressed into the focused look of a mother with eight hours worth of work to do and one hour left to do it in.

Well, for at least one day, I decided to knock it off. I threw my shoulders back, lifted my head, smiled and walked on the Earth like the daughter of God that I am. It helped that I was having a great day. I felt powerful, confident, beautiful and blessed. I was not the only one who noticed the difference. People looked at me differently. I was no longer invisible or trying to be. I was happy with who I was and confident in the steps I was taking to make myself better and others responded to that.

Now this is nothing new. I've known about non-verbal cues and the power of attitude for decades. It has just been a while since I've experienced them in quite that way. It felt great. And feeling great makes me want make more choices that will make me feel great, like eating well and exercising.

Here's to walking tall.

Bits and Bites

So a few of the thoughts discussed at the AR meeting have been rattling around my brain today. At the last meeting I recommended the book "French Women Don't Get Fat" (love that book) and one of my AR sisters read it. We talked about the principle of compensation and how if French women splurge, they compensate (at least, according to the book they do.) For example, you know you're going to order dessert, so skip the bread course. Or, if you have a a super heavy dinner, do some extra walking the next day. If you must have fries, put a salad with it instead of a cheese-burger.

I generally take an Arthur Dimsdale approach to indulgences and wallow in prolonged guilt trips rather than compensating immediately. This is doubly unhealthy since stress promotes fat retention.

The principle of "eat this, not that" dovetails into the "compensation" approach. No, I've never read the book by that title, but I saw a two minute blurb by the author on Good Morning America. The idea is, don't "diet" just make smarter choices - like pretzel M&Ms over a dove bar. Or get a small steak instead of a super-cheese burger. Feeling indulged and taken care of is important.

So the bottom line is what we've known all along. You can have any food you want, just not all the time. Eat smart, stay sane and take time to enjoy the good stuff.

Huh!

Okay, so my last two posts showed up under the last one. My last four quotes are there, so despair not, there is something new to read.

LBB

It has been a while since I have posted a LBB (a little basil blossom or success). I exercised four times last week. Okay, not all of them really got the heart rate up. Breaking a sweat can be hard when you are walking with three children and the moment you really start to work one of them needs a drink, a push, a rest, a band-aid or just really needs to look at the rocks in the gutter. You know gutter contemplation is a need when interrupted gutter contemplation leads to screaming and flailing. It is not pleasant to cary a screaming flailer, but it does up the calorie burn.

But seriously. Four times! That is my record and I aim to match it this week.

Inspiration VIIII

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours."

~Henry David Thoreau

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

~Catherine Aird

Inspiration VIII

"A single conversation across a table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books."

~Chinese proverb

Interpretation: Find a great support buddy

"Let's take the bouldering mistakes of the past, and the road-blocking challenges of the present, and build them into stairs that support our climb into the future."

~Mattie J.T. Stepanek

These quotes remind me of our AR meetings. Last night's meeting really helped me. If you don't have a buddy or a group yet, I highly recommend getting one.

Inspiration VII

"Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness."

~Earl of Derby

"Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures."

~Han Suyin

Inspiration VI

"Have you strength enough to take this first step? Courage enough to accomplish this small act?

~Phillip Vernier

"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

~Winston Churchill

Inspiration V

"One must eat to live, and not live to eat."

~Moliere

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours."

~Richard Bach

Inspiration IV

"Never eat more than you can lift."

~Miss Piggy

"I can resist everything except temptation."

~Oscan Wilde

I am loving these quotes. Here are a few tips that have been working for me.

Brush teeth often. It doesn't work to try and brush my teeth after the craving hits, but keeping my mouth minty fresh prevents some cravings.

Applesauce! I had heard about substituting applesauce for the oil in cake and brownie recipes, but it wasn't till I tried both of them at my friend's house that I was a believer. Yes, you're still dealing with sugar and refined junk, but if your kids are clamoring for a baking experience, or you just have to have a brownie, you can do it for significantly fewer calories.

Inspiration III

"The first wealth is health."

~Emmerson

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."

~Deepak Chopra

Inspiration II

"Keep the faculty of effort alive in you by a little gratuitous exercise every day."

~William James

"To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist."

~Gail Sheehy

Inspiration

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for he past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."

~Buddah

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

~Orson Wells

Quotes to Motivate

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence."

~Calvin Coolidge

"You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings."

~Pearl S. Buck

Celebrity Freak Out

I adore movies. I relate to movies. My family is constantly quoting movies. Imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror and realized that I reminded myself of a movie character. Imagine my horror when I realized that I could be type cast as the mother from "While You Were Sleeping." You know, the one who says "These mashed potatoes are so creamy." I had the soft under chin, plumpish shape and despite being the age that Sandra Bullock was in that movie I had a decidedly matronly air.

AURGHHHH! My computer is telling me that Aurghhhh is not a word. It has lived long enough in this house that it should realize that it, in fact, is an enormously useful word. So much for artificial intelligence. Anyway I don't want to look like the quirky bit-character in my own life. I want to look like the star. I want to feel like the star and I want to BE the star. No, I don't expect that I'll have Stacy Keebler legs or Jennifer Aniston hair and there is no way the universe is going to revolve around me (I live with three little beings who think the world revolves around them ... and it does.) But I know the feeling and the look I want to have.

And no, watching more blind auditions from The Voice is not going to give that to me. Time to start living.

Bethany

Perfection

Oh that can be a pernicious word.

I know I have mentioned it twice already, but it is worth saying again. In creating a lifestyle, forget right and wrong, focus on alive and less alive. Why am I so stuck on this? Because it is my lifeline right now.

I am a girl who loves absolutes. I thrive on right/wrong, worthwhile/not worthwhile, healthy/unhealthy types of dichotomies. And the world stands ready to provide me with a mountain of books and talk shows that are eager to indoctrinate me to their version of "right" dieting. And yes, there are some pretty solid guidelines to direct me (less sugar, more vegetables, more exercising), but when I define them in terms of absolutes (must, always, never, perfect etc.) I get stuck.

Example: A few weeks ago, the challenge my AR girls and I set for ourselves was to exercise every day. It did not matter how much we did. Two minutes worth of crunches would have counted. The point was to create a daily habit. Every day I thought about exercise, but because I didn't have the time or energy to do "enough" (which to me meant a minimum of 20 min.) I only exercised four times in the two weeks.

Whose standards am I trying to live up to anyway? What is this voice in my head telling me that a baby step forward is not "enough"? Why am I allowing someone else to define my version of failure and success? As it stands now, I can't win till I have the powerful inner confidence to tell that voice to take a hike.

As it says in the AR manual "... remember that perfectionism - trying to do (it) perfectly and to please others - can block you from being complete."

Note, it does not say perfectionism can block you from being effective. While it certainly does that for me, the bigger picture is that it stops me from being complete, and that slows my progress in every area of life.

I am succeeding in the battle over my addictive behaviors. Now, I need to tackle that "perfect" little voice of inner-criticism as well. The deeper I go into challenging my false ideas and unhealthy behaviors, the more I realize that the battle for slim and healthy is part of a greater war - the fight for self-mastery - the work of becoming complete.

Quotes

"My relationship with food is a love affair. It used to be a fight."

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

I don't know who said these, but they are so true.

M.I.A.

Well, where have I been? For such a short question, it has a very long answer. Never fear, I will spare you.

Let's talk about food, strength, journeys, etc. That quote I posted last time has really stuck with me, that there is no right or wrong way to do this. Some choices make us more alive or less alive, but they are our choices to make and our consequences to take. And the CRAZY thing is that they are different for each of us. Even the rigid intersection of calories and nutrition is insanely individual to each person. So, what is right for me? I am still figuring that out. And I am not going to divulge my whole philosophy even when I do, because I reserve the right to be utterly wrong and to change my mind at any given time as new information becomes available. Having a life plan with no give is like wearing jeans made out of concrete.

AR update: It works! I love this program. So much of "healthifying" my eating habits has centered on getting my head straight. I am proud to report that the panicked desperation I would sometimes feel when faced with something delicious has all but disappeared. It was a weird sensation of greed, fear, guilt and need which dampened the pleasure of eating while compelling me to eat more and more and more. Finally, I am seeing food as food. (Confession: this month I did use three strawberry/cream cheese cupcakes and two shirley temples in front of the new version of "Sabrina" to remedy one emotional crisis. And I had a crazy pregnant moment where I drank pickle juice right out of the jar. I know, that is so gross, but at the moment it was so very good.) So, I'm not perfect at it, but despite these moments I am feeling stronger and saner when it comes to food than I have in years.

Great Tip: I am enjoying dessert flavored gum. It cuts my need for sweetness and for chewing. Skip the orange creamcicle flavor. The strawberry shortcake and key lime pie are much better.

L'chaim

I love this concept from Dr. Becky Coleman: there is no right or wrong to dieting, only alive and less alive.

Pep Talk

I just read an inspiring comment posted by one of my friends. Thank you (you know who you are.)

As I read it I realized that I had forgotten that I am trying to break my addiction to sugar. How is it that I can work away in my Addiction Recovery booklet every week and forget that my original opponent was sugar? Well that book has helped me in so many other areas, I think I just got side tracked.

I need to do some serious thinking about just how this battle is going to look.

At least I have an awesome support group who keeps me moving on my journey no matter how many times I wander off. Support really is the key to succeeding on this journey.

~Bethany

The Good and the Bad.

I will start with the good news. I am pregnant and very nearly to the good phase of pregnancy. Yeah! The bad news, I have been a slug lately. No exercising - plenty of sleeping and crying though (pregnancy hormones make me cry when I hear country music, or anything remotely spiritual). Oh, and here's a first; I drank pickle juice straight from the jar. It was so good. And then I chased it down with frosting covered marshmallows. I am heartily ashamed to admit that, especially since the mere mention of them makes me want to vomit today.

Bottom line, I do not want to go up yet another size with this pregnancy. So far, I have three children and have gone up a size with each one. Not a pretty trend. This means exercise. I know this. Knowing that no matter what I do, I will be gaining weight for the next six months is a bit demoralizing though. I need motivation. I just watched the biggest loser and that helped, but I need to figure out something that will get me out there daily. I can't wait for Tuesday. Ladies, I am going to need some ideas.

~Bethany

Revamp

Okay, so I need to do a little re-vamping.

A few comments at Tuesday's AR meeting - which was awesome by the way - made me realize a few things:

1.) Food is a joyful thing and I have been taking all the joy out of it.

2.) I am not good at being a treat-toatler

(I'll take puns on 19th century British prohibition propaganda please, Alex)

3.) I need to find small, meaningful ways to get my treat fix - otherwise I start planning Valentine orgies of Roman proportions.

4.) Despite my shining intentions, my attempts to permanently alter my lifestyle are sometimes weak and inconsistent. Tbththththththt. But I am not alone in taking faltering first steps.

At this stage, I believe the most important quality a person can possess is the desire to try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. To all those Yoda impersonators out there who are saying "Do or do not, there is no try" I acknowledge that wisdom holds true for some parts of life. Having said that I have to ask, do you live in a swamp on another planet? Because down here, most people "do" once or twice, then throw up their hands when that one bold step doesn't turn into a perfect journey. They spend the rest of their lives "doing not" because "trying" is hard. My plan is to make this afternoon better than this morning, and to make tomorrow better than today. And if I don't, I will try and try again till my days are better and I am better for them.

Good luck friends, we're in this together.

~Bethany

Sound Advice

I once asked one of my favorite alternative health gurus about her low-sugar lifestyle. "Sugar is a great way to celebrate," she said. "When I am at a wedding I have a piece of cake. I take my son out for ice-cream on his birthday. It is part of what makes the celebration special for me."

I tend to want to have my own little "celebration" every time I finish a sandwich. I tend to want to "celebrate" around 4:00 every afternoon. I love the thought of using fabulous treats to celebrate life ... not sandwiches.

Not to tempt anyone, but I just found out about an amazing, locally made, Ecuadorian chocolate bar. I think this Valentine's is going to see some serious South American celebrating - and I am determined not to "celebrate" till then.

~Bethany

Train Wrecks and Truimph

I love chapter 2! Studying and applying the principles have been a tender experience for me. Powerful stuff.

So, I had been a vegetable eating, exercise machine (the best I've done in at least two years!) And then life happened. What do you do on a day that starts with poop on the carpet and is followed by child #2 spilling two glasses of chocolate milk (each time covering a table, two chairs the floor and a sister - both of whom were dressed in white.) Not to be left out, child #1 brought home a blue snowflake stamp from music class and proceeded to cover her siblings and the unvarnished wood around the bathroom mirror with it. Apparently ink comes off siblings, but not mirrors. Then, with barely enough time to get child #1 to school, child number three galloped into the living room blissfully naked, diaper ominously absent. You know what that means. After school, options for physical chaos temporarily exhausted, the screaming and emotional drama began.

Aaaaaaaaaah! My solution? I buried myself in meaningless television and ate spoonfuls of hot-cocoa powder straight from the container. Mature, no? I should clarify, that as part of our no sugar plan, Emily and I had decided to allow the occasional cup of hot cocoa, it is sledding season after all, but waiting for water to boil was not an option. I needed chocolate and would have taken an IV drip had it been available.

While I think the occasional mom-cation (mom-cation: noun a temporary break from the rigors of motherhood lasting from 10 minutes to two hours, often involving chick-flicks, chick-lit and empty carbs) is wonderful and healthy, I tend to bypass a critical element. I tend to turn to chocolate chips instead of turning to God. I turn on the TV instead of turning to prayer. My Heavenly Father is the best solution for everything I face. He needs to be my first line of defense. Even the power of the mighty Kinder Bueno pales in comparison with what He wants to do for me.

I am taking great comfort in Ezekiel 34:16 "I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick." I have His help on this journey and that means a lot.

Here's to new beginnings and strength and gorgeousness.

~Bethany

Can I get a Do over please?

I've decided that attitude IS everything when you are trying to make/maintain a lifestyle change. I was totally charged after the first ARP meeting. Ready to exercise more than Bethany, ready to eat healthier, drink more water, eat fewer sweets, you know... It's amazing how one really bad morning that overflows into a really bad day can sabotage a good thing. Let's just say that my night ended with a pizza dinner. I only ate 2 pieces of sausage, black onion, and tomato pizza (while my family watched) but I may or may not have consumed the left over crust of both my son and daughter's pizza while I "cleared" the table. Maybe now is the time to celebrate my successes, day 3 down of my vow to not eat sweets until Valentine's day. Okay that's just one, but it is a success none the less. Thomas S. Monson, president of the LDS church said, "Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow." Good advice, bring on tomorrow!

First Meeting

Hooray! The first meeting was just what I needed. I came away so motivated that I have exercised a record four days in a row! Thank you, my fellow slimming sisters. We talked about chapter one and I came away with three awesome goals:

I am going to track the minutes I exercise. On the 17th Shyla and I will compare numbers. The one with the most gets taken to Subway for lunch. On the way out of the meeting Shyla confided to me that the goal she wrote down is not to exercise more, it is to "exercise more than Bethany." Woo hoo! It is on.

I am also aiming to only eat sitting down and to only eat off a plate (bye-bye brownies from the pan.)

Also, my friend Emily and I are doing no sugar till the first week in Feb. (when I will be making a fabulous cake for a family birthday.) We are also going to do no sugar (meaning candy and baked goods) between major, planned events. I love having someone to keep me honest.

FYI: We will be checking in with each other on Tues the 10th, but we will wait till the 17th for our next official meeting.

Love and Luck,

Bethany

Comments

I just discovered that blogger has been "helpfully" corralling all of the blog's comments into some random holding pen (all in the name of stopping spam ... do people spam blogs? ... I have so much to learn.) Anyway, I found them, loved them and tried to publish all of them. Some of them didn't publish though ... so please, please, please keep commenting. Your words mean a lot.

~Bethany

the comment hungry blogger.

"Workouting"

Once again my children reminded me that my lifestyle is going to affect generations to come. This afternoon I turned on Turbo-Jam and soon my minions had congregated around me on the living room rug. Child #3 (who is almost two) did the cutest combo of speed bags and kicks. Child #2 did crunches and spun around on his bum on the hardwood. Child #1 tried a few of the moves from the TV and then proceeded to invent her own workout (tribal dance meets jazzercize).

"Mom, I'm still work-outing," said my boy 10 minutes after I had turned off the 20 min. token workout video. (Even though it was a token workout - meaning I stayed in my jeans and honestly didn't sweat much - it was a workout and it took me one day closer to creating a daily habit. )

Child #2 inspired me with his extra mile attitude and I grabbed a couple cans of chili and did an extra 6 min. arm workout. Go team!

First Meeting

Okay, so this is short notice, but we're having a support group meeting tonight. Call Shyla or Bethany for time and place.