Own It

Yesterday I deliciously devoured three Cadbury eggs while reading a Bill Bryson book and for perhaps the first time, I feel completely fine about owning the experience. Every calorie, every sticky finger every bit of happiness is mine all mine. It was an indulgence that I chose, not that my addiction chose for me and that makes it easier to own. Owning the experience (as opposed to burying it) makes me feel more satisfied than the chocolate could have alone. Food can create amazing experiences. For me, hiding behind a door scarfing M&Ms before the kids see me does not qualify as an experience worth having. A leisurely moment with a favorite candy that I haven't indulged in for the last two years while reading some pithy prose - that is an experience worth having.

I am on a crusade to own more of my life. I want to own my choices, own the consequences, own the life they give me. This seems so rudimentary. When did I get cut off from these parts of my life? On a brief psychological note (no time for deep analysis), I am learning that owning my life means accepting me for me - flaws and all. This is tough. Accepting other people is much easier. But, as any retail clerk will tell you, if you want to change something, you need to own it first.